The Dichotomy of Life

During the Mexican-American war, two Mexican soldiers were pinned heavily under fire in a small foxhole close to the frontier. One of them, Pedro, was extremely worried about death. Pedro asked Jose (the other guy), "Amigo, what happens when I die?"

Jose answered, "Well, Two things may happen amigo...You may either go to the after-life or get reincarnated."

Jose: "If you go to the after-life, then that's good, you'll see all your loved ones who passed away...You'll see your mama there, Pedro."

Pedro: "But what if I get reincarnated?"

Jose: "Well then...two things may happen amigo. You could either be reincarnated as a man, or as a plant. If you get reincarnated as a man, then that's good, amigo, you could live a new life. Maybe, in your new life, there is no war."

Pedro: "But what if I get reincarnated as a plant?"

Jose: "Well then...two things may happen amigo. You could either be a corn-stalk, or you can become a tree. If you become a corn-stalk, then that's good amigo, you can feed the future of our great country Mexico."

Pedro: "But what if I become a tree?"

Jose: "Well then..."

Pedro: "I know, two things may happen...what is it?"

Jose: "You're right, two things may happen amigo. If you become a tree, you may either be used as lumber, or you may be used as paper. If you are used as lumber, then that's good amigo, you'll serve as the strong material for the houses in our beloved country, Mexico."

Pedro: "You sure are smart, Jose. But what if I become paper?"

Jose: "Well, still, two things may happen amigo..."

Pedro: " Two things may still happen? I'm paper and still two things may happen? Ai, caramba!"

Jose: "That is the dichotomy of life, Pedro. Yes, two things may happen. If you become paper, you may either be used as writing paper, or toilet paper. If you become writng paper, that's good amigo, you will serve as the learning material for the children of Mexico, so that they become good leaders, and wars like this could be avoided. Maybe, if you become writing paper, you'll be the piece of paper where the peace treaty is written..."

Pedro: "But what if I become toilet paper? Dios mio, Jose. My death would be in vain if I become toilet paper."

Jose: "If you become toilet paper, two things may happen, amigo. You may either be used by a man, or a woman. If you are used by a man, that's good. At the very least, you have helped to sanitize a Mexican."

Pedro: "But what if I get used by a woman?"

Jose: "You know it..."

Pedro: "Two things may happen?"

Jose: "Yes. You may either be used at the top, or you may be used at the bottom. If you get used at the top, the face, in the cheeks, in the lips, then that's good amigo."

Pedro: "But what if I get used in the bottom?"

Jose: "Well, amigo, two things may happen. You may either be used in the back or in the front. If you get used in the back, then that's good amigo. As a tissue paper, you have served your purpose."

Pedro: "...and if I get used in the front?"

Jose: "Santa Maria, Pedro, if you get used in the front by a woman, then amigo, your death will not be in vain!!!"

BANG! (Pedro gets shot)