Talk to me like I'm six years old

Never assume anything about anybody. That is the greatest lesson I've learned when it comes to people relations. Assume nothing and you'll hurt less people. More often than not, one gets offended if you assume that he/she knows something but in fact, he/she doesn't. For example, if I talk to someone for the first time about a '92 to '95 Honda Civic, I won't say EG right away, and assume that they know that it's the chasis code for that particular model. The person I am talking to might not know what I am talking about and if he doesn't have too much courage for learning, he/she might be lost in the conversation. My tendency, however, perhaps hardwired into my training as a lawyer, is to inform my partner in the conversation, that a '92 to '95 Honda Civic, is an EG. And since I am really into Honda Civics, I might tell him that the '88-'91 model is the EF, the '96 to '00 is the EK, the '01 to '05 is the ES (for the sedan, EP for the hatchback), and the current model is the FD. People, however, as I have just recently realized, may not be as interested as me in knowing these little things. Some people are at bliss in their ignorance. Some people just don't care about Honda Civics. Just like how I don't care too much about say, cros-stitching. It is my weakness, perhaps to be over-explanatory. So please, if you already know what I'm talking about, or even if you just don't want to hear the Britannica explanation, please tell me to stop, I don't really care. A caveat as always, however, "little knowledge is a very dangerous thing."

As so, I expect people to talk to me in the simplest way as possible, I always ask questions for clarification if there is need to do so. If I get it the first time, I ask for the details. I'm not that slow, I just want to be sure of everything every single fucking time. To a litigant, if I tell him/her that a certain document needs to be notarized, if I really care for the welfare of that client, or if he seems not to be sure about the reason behind such action, I will explain to him or her, the basis why the document needs to be notarized, beyond the fact that it's legally required. In law school, when you answer a question profounded by your professor in recitation, after your answer, your professor will ask "What's your basis in saying this?" or "What do you think is the reason behind that provision?" Being a lawyer, I have acquired that kind of mindframe, to explain everthing I say. Be it good or bad, or even distasteful or just plain boring, I have chosen such way and will not change it for whoever Pontius Pilate who thinks otherwise.

"Hey have you seen the new Spoon FD-2? The ones with the 18"s and the completely new ECU?"

Haters raise your hands if you have no idea what I am talking about. Don't blame me if I talk to you like you're in fucking pre-school. You are just goddam insecure because I know something you don't.

*BTW, Spoon is Spoon Sports is an engine tuner and parts manufacturer specializing in cars made by Honda Motor Company. 18"s are 18-inch (diameter) wheels, FD-2 is the chasis code for the Japan Domestic Market only 2008 Honda Civic Type-R, and ECU is an electronic control unit, also called a control module, is an embedded system that controls one or more of the electrical systems or subsystems in a vehicle.

With great power

We were sent home early today. Because of the flood. I don't know who sent us home at 2:00 o'clock, but I didn't care. Glad to be out of the office as early as possible as I had nothing to do the whole day there. At least, for today. I had one scheduled hearing this morning but I cancelled and reset the same. There was no proof of notice to the plaintiff's counsel. It's an old civil case. Something about land somewhere. I didn't pay too much attention.

Last night I drank solo. Three bottles of San Mig Premium. But the thing is, as much as I love drinking that brew, it tasted different last night. The taste was somewhat more bitter. Perhaps it's because I was drinking alone. No fuckin' wild-ass revelry while I take in my brew. Match it with the goddam annoying drizzle outside. The Japs say that sake tastes different depending on who drinks it and the emotional and spiritual well-being of the drinker. Sake changes taste too when the Sakura (cherry blossom) is in bloom. But perhaps the real reason my beer tasted a bit bitter last night was because it was not too cold. A lukewarm beer for a lukewarm day. I miss my lovely wife and handsome kid. I wish it was Friday already.

I miss my friends too. Not in the gay or sentimental sort of way (sheez), but I miss those fuckin' knuckle-heads. Mandy and his mafia stories. Ato and his own adventures. Jonel and the fuckin' NPA shit he denies being involved with. Pareng Jeremy, who's like a brother to me. Damn, where in Satan's toe-nails are you people? These days, I often share my drinks with motherfuckin' old folks (trans: old lawyers) who think they know everything about anything. Sometimes it's fun, as I enjoy the entertainment of a braggart running his mouth off, but sometimes it gets to you, like Pacquiao says, you know?

Speakin' of Pacquiao, while on the drive to work the other day, I heard the funniest thing coming out of his light-welterweight-champion-of-the-world-pound-for-pound-the-best-fighter-in-the-world mouth. Manny was being interviewed by Mike Enriquez at DZBB (594 AM) and it went something like this:

Mike Enriquez: "Manny, marami na bang nag-iimbita sa'yo dito sa Pililipinas...sa mga piyesta-piyesta, sa mga iba't-ibang okasyon...pupuntahan mo ba ang mga 'yon, Manny?"

Manny Pacquiao: "Responsibilidad natin yan, Mike. You know, with great power, comes great ponsibility." Failing to quote Spider-Man successfully.

Mike: "Ano 'yun, Manny, with great, ano? Paki-ulit nga Manny, para sa mga nakikinig sa programa natin..."

Manny: "With great power, comes great ponsibility....res...responsibility." The champ finally realized, but it's too late, he was live on air.

Funny shit likes this gets me through the daily grind.

Until she opens her mouth

Sometimes you see a broad and instantly think, "Damn, what would I give to have that chick!"
Well, I used to. I'm married now, so I'm happy with what I've got going on with my wife and our wonderful kid, Justis Andres.

I know you know what I'm talking about, though. Sometimes you meet a girl, and you think she's the girl of your dreams. The big one. The future mother of your children, and grandmother to your grandkids. Until she opens her mouth. Think: Maryel Rodriges. Damn that girl is insanely hot. Until she opens her mouth. She's boses kiki. Too vulgar. Too cheap. IMHO, about 90% of all women are like that in the eyes of men. Too vulgar. Too cheap.

I know this post will get a reaction from my good friend Mandy to the effect that he can't avoid to say: "You ain't fuck the mouth, cabron." Well, sometimes you do. Kidding aside, we men as we grow older tend to lower our expectations when it comes to women. Well, at least those of us who has taste to begin with. I know some men who will try to fuck anything with a skirt. We lower our standards because we grow up. We eventually accept women for what they are. Inevitably, some guy will be a ble to accept Maryel's big fucking mouth and marry her. If she's lucky. As for me, I wanted a girl with class and I got one. I wanted a conservative gal who won't fuck around even if she had the chance and I got her. Someone I don't have to end up killing. You have to know what you want. Sex isn't everything as pleasing as it may sound. If you're through with the sex, and there's nothing more, find your way out.

MALAS (Mandatory Legal Aid Service)

I've spent (read:wasted) my afternoon in a symposium sponsored by my local IBP (integrated Bar of the Philippines) chapter which talked about this new rule, otherwise known as Bar Matter No. 2012, which requires all practicing lawyers to render a minimum of sixty (60) hours of free legal aid services to indigent litigants in a year. The rule also requires those lawyers who do not lucratively practice law and have chosen public service by dedicating their precious time as government servants (think:slaves) to pay PhP2,0000.00 every year. I know that the Supreme Court never makes a mistake, and if it does, it becomes part of the legal system, but if you ask me what do I really think of this rule, I'd tell you that I think this rule is full of shit. So don't ask me. Please.

The practice of law is not a trade. It is not a job. It is not a craft. It is not business. It is a vocation not unlike that of preisthood. With this in mind, the act of rendering free legal aid to indigents is a moral duty of every lawyer. In fact, if there is a universal ethical rule between all lawyers all over the world, it is the duty of the lawyer to provide its services to the needy. To my mind, the act of compelling a lawyer to render free legal aid service is an insult to lawyers everywhere. All lawyers who understand that it is their duty to offer their services free from cost and are already doing so should be abhorred by this rule. On the other hand, those unscroupulous men (and women) who call themselves lawyers but do not have pro bono cases in their portfolio are the ones who are going to be very vocal about this new rule.

In principle, the rule is sound enough. However, the framing is less than perfect. It twists and maligns the definition of the term "practice of law" as defined by jurisprudence in Cayetano v. Monsod (201 SCRA 210, 1991). It gives a new defenition to practicing lawyers.

Sec. 4(a) Practicing lawyers are members of the Philippine Bar who appear for and in behalf of parties in courts of law and quasi-judicial agencies, including but not limited to the National Labor Relations Commission, National Conciliation and Mediation Board, Department of Labor and Employment Regional Offices, Department of Agrarian Reform Adjudication Board and National Commission for Indigenous Peoples.

The term “practicing lawyers” shall exclude:

(i) Government employees and incumbent elective officials not allowed by law to practice;

(ii) Lawyers who by law are not allowed to appear in court;

(iii) Supervising lawyers of students enrolled in law student practice in duly accredited legal clinics of law schools and lawyers of non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and peoples’ organizations (POs) like the Free Legal Assistance Group who by the nature of their work already render free legal aid to indigent and pauper litigants and

(iv) Lawyers not covered under subparagraphs (i) to (iii) including those who are employed in the private sector but do not appear for and in behalf of parties in courts of law and quasi-judicial agencies.

As the newsboy in the old Superman shouts all the time, just : "Read all about it!" For I'm too sick of writing about it.

Goddamit. Sayang PhP2,000.00 ko. LOL.

The inevitable Ded Pylon (LOL) post

Everyone is talking about Ded Pylon. Who the fuck is that guy? Is he worth the airtime? Any of us who have watched television over the past ten (10) years have surely seen that chicken shit reporter/news anchor. But who the fuck is he, really? From my standpoint, he is nobody. A fuckin' law school drop-out. A man who talks the talk but can't really walk the walk. He has no balls, IMHO. Funny thing is he's in deep shit right now. His wife is dead, and apparently she squandered millions, and he's the number one suspect in the killing. And oh yeah, there is a killing. I don't buy any of that guacamole shit they're selling on TV. You know, the suicide crap they're peddling to the masses. I'm not saying that I know this fool killed his old lady, but I believe that he's not saying everything he knows about the "incident."

Everyone including the nasty-ass Korean shitheads in my neighborhood are talking about that goofball and the recent incident which happened in his life so I'll jump in the bandwagon, so to speak.

Five points.

First, an innocent man whose wife had just suffered a critical gunshot wound does not automatically conclude that it was an attempt at suicide and will not contact the authorities ASAP. The damned man even refuses to show his cellphone. More probable than not, Pylon has a line subscription, and whether or not he's telling the truth about calling her at the time he claimed he did will be known. Unless the Globe or Smart people will fix things up for Mr. Dickhead.

Second, when suspected, the innocent man shall not decline to take any polygraph test if he has nothing to hide. While the lie detector bullshit can be mastered by the skilled spy, to the general populace, I still think it's a fair indicator of truth or falsehood.

Third, a 9mm, caliber .380 semi-automatic pistol, such as the weapon of choice in this case is hard to cock. It has a stiff slide and ordinarily, women of a small built such as Mrs. Pylon, cannot cock the damn thing. Maybe 'twas left cocked and loaded. Then again, maybe someone else cocked the goddamned pistol and gave it to Mrs. Pylon for her to shoot herself with in the head. Maybe, someone else beside herself shot her. Maybe the one who shot her was Elvis Fuckin' Presley. Maybe God told the shooter in an ephiphany to shoot Mrs. Pylon. Maybe. One too many. One thing is for sure, though. It is Pylon's sissy-stainless Walther PPK pistol.

Fourth, everyone in the household at that time told the media and the fuckin' police that nobody heard the damn pistol going off. Nobody fuckin' heard the goddamn gunshot. A .380 ain't a BB gun. If fired inside a bathroom, however insulated that damn room may be, the shot from that gun will be heard.

Fifth, all that cleaning and mopping up shit that the household helpers did at the bathroom. Likewise, the cleaning up of the bloodied vehicle by the driver. Talk about cleaning up after your shit. This leads me to think that the killing was not planned. Therefore, the same was accidental or in the heat of passion. What's that phrase? With passion and obfuscation.

And don't get me started on Gonzales and Acosta. Both are disgraces to the legal profession in my book.

Let's move on to more productive topics. Please. For the love of God.